U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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