Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
