After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
