no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
