When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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