After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
