I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
