is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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