Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
