Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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