You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
