marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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