you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
