I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
