didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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