I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
