he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
