Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
