Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
