I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
