dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
