i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
