I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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