conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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