i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
