I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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