My sheets look like a crime scene.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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