So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize