i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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