Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
