I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
