Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
