I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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