he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I would ride that face into the sunset
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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