Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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