Non-Jews are for practice
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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