haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
