Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
