Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
