the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
