So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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