i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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