Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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