Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
