I've blown a few things in my day
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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