My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
