There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
