hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
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