Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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