C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I need to sanitize my soul.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
