so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
