Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
