Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
