how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize