why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
