Tell her she can't have a vagina
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Sorry my hands just texted you
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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