I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
