Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
