Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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