I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
